Archive for the ‘News And Society’ Category
Fearmongering And Facts: 2012 Examined
December 7th, 2009 | 
Author: 
Susan Livingstone asked:
It’s always been my philosophy that the most rational approach to anything is to safety and emergency preparednessbalance reason with readiness. So when the murmurs about 2012 began to grow into grumblings, and the grumblings grew into shouts, and the shouts grew into hysterical ranting, I figured it was about time to look into the matter and see if I couldn’t find out what the facts on 2012 really were. Should we be worried? Should we stock up? And whose opinion should we trust? There are an awful lot of crisis-mongers out there, willing to pass along any terror-inducing hype as a means of parting you from your bucks. If there really IS anything we should know about December 21, 2012 that’s significant to our safety or peace of mind, then it would be a shame to lose the message because we got too tired of listening to the tinfoil-hat-wearing New Age crap-peddlers.
So, what are the facts? 2012 does, after all, seem to present a unique confluence of multiple prophecies, events, predictions, mythologies, and cosmologies. It’s arguable that no prior period in history has seen such a merging of so wild a variety of belief systems and prophecies. There’s the end of the Mayan Long Count Calendar, and biblical prophecies of the End Times. The predictions of the I Ching, and Timewave Zero. The Sybil, Nostradamus, Isaac Newton, Edgar Cayce, and Mother Shipton all weigh in, among others. The Hopi have tossed a hat into the ring. Even science – or at least pseudoscience – gets a toe in the door, what with the statistics of the Bible code, the Web Bot Project, the Solar Maximum and threatening Coronal Mass Ejections (CMEs), predictions of a possible geomagnetic reversal (incorrectly referred to as a “polar shift”), the Precession of the Equinoxes, and the potentially deadly Planet X flyby. What isn’t debated is that there will be a rare galactic alignment on that day, one that only appears every 26,000 years or so, which in itself is enough to make even the skeptics pause for thought. As we finally, truly enter the Age of Aquarius, 2012 has become the byword for futurist phobias. But is it just Y2K on steroids?
There is simply too much out there on 2012 to get away with ignoring it completely. It’s only a matter of time before the media latch onto it and hype the living hell out of the subject – the History Channel has certainly taken the lead there. But when you really dig in and read the literature and hit the blogs, trying to nail down the facts on 2012, you’re pretty likely to end up both fascinated and befuddled, and even run the risk of joining the collective obsession and succumbing to the scare.
Well, I’ve read a good deal of the latest thinking on this topic, so I’ll share some of what I’ve discovered.
Any research on 2012 has to start with the Mayan Long Count Calendar. The Mayans actually were (and are) brilliant mathematicians, astronomers, and time keepers. Their calendric system, which is based largely on astronomical observances, has a degree of accuracy and a depth of symbology that puts our Gregorian system to shame. Two thousand years ago, at a time when the majority of the world didn’t question the idea that the world was flat and earth was the center of the universe, the Mayans came up with a cosmological view that could make astronomical predictions that were accurate to within mere seconds. No mean feat, to say the least. I certainly can’t go into even a fraction of detail about this fascinating topic in this short article, but I encourage you to read more about it, as it’s one of the most interesting angles to the whole 2012 topic.
But possibly the most interesting thing is that the Mayan faith and mythology, their systems for keeping time, and even their design and hieroglyphs, are very like those of other traditional civilizations, such as the Egyptians, with whom they were unlikely to have had contact. This odd synchronicity becomes tough to explain, until you consider the one thing they did have in common – the sky. Is it really possible that multiple cultures and civilizations, divided by vast distances in time and geography, could divine similar meaning and draw the same conclusions from the same astronomical observances? And if so, does this lend greater credibility to their philosophy of time and how it is to unfold? Anthropologists attempt to answer this question, with varying degrees of success.
This is where the confusion comes in. What were the Mayans trying to tell us? Are we facing imminent disaster, or merely a transition from one age to the next?
Well, here’s one of the elusive “facts” of 2012: the Mayan long count calendar does end on the winter solstice – December 21, 2012 – and that date does coincide with the Precessional transfer from the age of Pisces to the age of Aquarius, an event that only occurs about every 26,000 years. Here’s what that means:
In our solar system, the Sun and the planets share roughly the same plane of orbit, known as the plane of the ecliptic. From our perspective here on Earth, the Zodiacal constellations move along or near the ecliptic, and over a span of time, appear to recede counterclockwise by one degree every 72 years. This movement is attributed to a tiny wobble in the Earth’s axis as it rotates. The result is that, approximately every 2,160 years, the constellation visible early on the morning of the spring equinox changes. In Western astrological traditions, this signals the end of one astrological age (currently the Age of Pisces) and the beginning of another (Age of Aquarius). Over the course of 26,000 years, the precession of the equinoxes makes one full circuit around the ecliptic.
Just as the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere is currently in the constellation of Pisces, so the winter solstice is currently in the constellation of Sagittarius, which happens to be the constellation intersected by the galactic equator. Every year for the last 1000 years or so, on the winter solstice, the Earth, Sun and the galactic equator come into alignment, and every year, precession pushes the Sun’s position a little way further through the Milky Way’s band.
New Age proponents of the galactic alignment hypothesis argue that, just as astrology uses the positions of stars and planets to make claims of future events, the Mayans plotted their calendars with the objective of preparing for significant world events. However, the alignment in question is not exclusive to 2012 but takes place over a 36-year period, corresponding to the diameter of the Sun, with the most precise convergence having already occurred in 1998.
So what do we make of that? Does every claim for the significance of 2012 come as a kernel of truth, wrapped in a coating of hysterical hype? Let’s explore a little further.
Ah, Nostradamus. This much-quoted 16th century physician and prognosticator with his cryptic quatrains has been the most respected seer in history. A number of his quatrains are believed by scholars of prophecy to pertain to our time, and warn of dire events. It’s estimated that about 50% of his prophecies have come true. While this passes in some circles as a staggeringly huge number of hits, it’s worth keeping in mind that it’s an equal number of misses, too…and even the hits are open to interpretation. Never, anywhere, does he specifically mention the year 2012. In fact, he goes on to claim that his visions extend as far as the 38th century, so apparently humanity doesn’t meet its gory end any time soon after all. And with no concrete dates to point to, we are forced to wait and see – in retrospect – whether or not Nostradamus had any real insight into current events.
Surely there must be some biblical passages that dovetail with the Mayan prediction of the end of days. Fundamentalist Christians are loud in their warnings that the rapture is imminent and those who miss it are in for a crapload of trouble. But wait – many doomsday dates predicted by theologians have come and gone, leaving their followers wondering what “didn’t” hit them. And the bible itself assures us that nobody, not even Jesus or the angels, knows the exact date that anything is going to go down. That’s a secret God is keeping to himself, we’re told. Did He change His mind and decide to leak the info after all?
Well then, isn’t there a rogue star out there – Nibiru, or Planet X – that’s due to make a pole-reversing, 1,000-foot wave-creating flyby of the earth? Both sides of THAT argument lay their case in front of the public, and we are free to take an open-minded look at it. As for Nibiru, latest thinking on that subject – at least by astronomers, who are in some position to know – is that it doesn’t even exist, much less plan to drop by – or drop on us – in 2012. According to them, Nibiru=fake. End of story. As expected, detractors abound.
What about the aliens, the ones that seeded humanity and keep coming back to steal cow parts and human fetuses? Those who claim to be in contact with these extraterrestrials are supposedly being assured that they will finally make their landing on the White House lawn on December 21, 2012. Unfortunately, we’re forced to take the word of the contactees, with no way of verifying the information for ourselves. And why these contactees consider beings who behave the way these ETs apparently do as “space brothers” who should be welcomed with open arms is beyond me, but that’s a discussion for another article!
Finally, and most encouraging of all, is the idea that – far from disaster and ruin – the new age is going to bring enlightenment and a sorely-needed raising of the human consciousness to a higher and more spiritual level of existence. This will include everyone being able to engage in telepathy, levitation, and the ability to speak with the angels. Great as this sounds, again – best to examine whatever passes for evidence that this is what’s going to happen.
It seems to me that the information (or misinformation, as the case may be) that is making the rounds is being served up to the public as if it were a sort of stew…a particularly inedible one. You might love peanut butter, peach ice cream, asparagus, chocolate sauce, and liverwurst. But if you jam them all in a blender and try to swallow the result, how yummy would it be? Personally, I’d rather eat the contents of my cat’s litter box. While it might seem logical to take a lot of really good-sounding ideas, each worthy of consideration on their own, and simmer them all together in a single pot for a tasty combo of intellectual flavors, the recipe really doesn’t work. And that’s what’s happened with 2012. So many favorite non-secular ideologies, traditional (and poorly accepted) mythologies and mysteries, conspiracy theories, belief systems, fears, pseudo-scientific conclusions, and just plain wishful thinking, all being tossed into the 2012 crock-pot. The true importance of this date, assuming there is one, is in danger of being utterly lost in the stew. Every doomsday scenario ever concocted, brilliant or barmy, is being forcibly linked to this single date.
It’s weird, but it seems that every generation since the beginning of all those biblical begats has looked forward to the world ending during their own time. Apparently we all understand at a deep and depressing level just how far off course we’ve drifted, spiritually and emotionally. We are desperate for change, even if it means a gigantic dieback of humanity itself. And if there’s any truth to the theory that, by our concentrated thoughts and intentions, we create our own reality, then we have some reason to be frightened for this particular generation. There’s a traditional zen proverb that sums it up: That which you are looking for, is always looking for you. There’s an emergent awareness of this possibility that events can be influenced by a collective will. It’s a phenomenon known as “collective manifestation.” In brief, it suggests that the more people believe a thing, the more influence they will have – consciously or unconsciously – in bringing it about. If this is true, then we are on track for SOMETHING significant to happen in 2012, simply because we decided amongst ourselves that we really, really wanted it to.
So it behooves us to do two things: make very sure that the world we create is infinitely better than the one we’re discarding, and safety and emergency preparednessprepare ourselves as much as possible for whatever might actually happen. Better to build the shelter before the storm hits.
It’s always been my philosophy that the most rational approach to anything is to safety and emergency preparednessbalance reason with readiness. So when the murmurs about 2012 began to grow into grumblings, and the grumblings grew into shouts, and the shouts grew into hysterical ranting, I figured it was about time to look into the matter and see if I couldn’t find out what the facts on 2012 really were. Should we be worried? Should we stock up? And whose opinion should we trust? There are an awful lot of crisis-mongers out there, willing to pass along any terror-inducing hype as a means of parting you from your bucks. If there really IS anything we should know about December 21, 2012 that’s significant to our safety or peace of mind, then it would be a shame to lose the message because we got too tired of listening to the tinfoil-hat-wearing New Age crap-peddlers.
So, what are the facts? 2012 does, after all, seem to present a unique confluence of multiple prophecies, events, predictions, mythologies, and cosmologies. It’s arguable that no prior period in history has seen such a merging of so wild a variety of belief systems and prophecies. There’s the end of the Mayan Long Count Calendar, and biblical prophecies of the End Times. The predictions of the I Ching, and Timewave Zero. The Sybil, Nostradamus, Isaac Newton, Edgar Cayce, and Mother Shipton all weigh in, among others. The Hopi have tossed a hat into the ring. Even science – or at least pseudoscience – gets a toe in the door, what with the statistics of the Bible code, the Web Bot Project, the Solar Maximum and threatening Coronal Mass Ejections (CMEs), predictions of a possible geomagnetic reversal (incorrectly referred to as a “polar shift”), the Precession of the Equinoxes, and the potentially deadly Planet X flyby. What isn’t debated is that there will be a rare galactic alignment on that day, one that only appears every 26,000 years or so, which in itself is enough to make even the skeptics pause for thought. As we finally, truly enter the Age of Aquarius, 2012 has become the byword for futurist phobias. But is it just Y2K on steroids?
There is simply too much out there on 2012 to get away with ignoring it completely. It’s only a matter of time before the media latch onto it and hype the living hell out of the subject – the History Channel has certainly taken the lead there. But when you really dig in and read the literature and hit the blogs, trying to nail down the facts on 2012, you’re pretty likely to end up both fascinated and befuddled, and even run the risk of joining the collective obsession and succumbing to the scare.
Well, I’ve read a good deal of the latest thinking on this topic, so I’ll share some of what I’ve discovered.
Any research on 2012 has to start with the Mayan Long Count Calendar. The Mayans actually were (and are) brilliant mathematicians, astronomers, and time keepers. Their calendric system, which is based largely on astronomical observances, has a degree of accuracy and a depth of symbology that puts our Gregorian system to shame. Two thousand years ago, at a time when the majority of the world didn’t question the idea that the world was flat and earth was the center of the universe, the Mayans came up with a cosmological view that could make astronomical predictions that were accurate to within mere seconds. No mean feat, to say the least. I certainly can’t go into even a fraction of detail about this fascinating topic in this short article, but I encourage you to read more about it, as it’s one of the most interesting angles to the whole 2012 topic.
But possibly the most interesting thing is that the Mayan faith and mythology, their systems for keeping time, and even their design and hieroglyphs, are very like those of other traditional civilizations, such as the Egyptians, with whom they were unlikely to have had contact. This odd synchronicity becomes tough to explain, until you consider the one thing they did have in common – the sky. Is it really possible that multiple cultures and civilizations, divided by vast distances in time and geography, could divine similar meaning and draw the same conclusions from the same astronomical observances? And if so, does this lend greater credibility to their philosophy of time and how it is to unfold? Anthropologists attempt to answer this question, with varying degrees of success.
This is where the confusion comes in. What were the Mayans trying to tell us? Are we facing imminent disaster, or merely a transition from one age to the next?
Well, here’s one of the elusive “facts” of 2012: the Mayan long count calendar does end on the winter solstice – December 21, 2012 – and that date does coincide with the Precessional transfer from the age of Pisces to the age of Aquarius, an event that only occurs about every 26,000 years. Here’s what that means:
In our solar system, the Sun and the planets share roughly the same plane of orbit, known as the plane of the ecliptic. From our perspective here on Earth, the Zodiacal constellations move along or near the ecliptic, and over a span of time, appear to recede counterclockwise by one degree every 72 years. This movement is attributed to a tiny wobble in the Earth’s axis as it rotates. The result is that, approximately every 2,160 years, the constellation visible early on the morning of the spring equinox changes. In Western astrological traditions, this signals the end of one astrological age (currently the Age of Pisces) and the beginning of another (Age of Aquarius). Over the course of 26,000 years, the precession of the equinoxes makes one full circuit around the ecliptic.
Just as the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere is currently in the constellation of Pisces, so the winter solstice is currently in the constellation of Sagittarius, which happens to be the constellation intersected by the galactic equator. Every year for the last 1000 years or so, on the winter solstice, the Earth, Sun and the galactic equator come into alignment, and every year, precession pushes the Sun’s position a little way further through the Milky Way’s band.
New Age proponents of the galactic alignment hypothesis argue that, just as astrology uses the positions of stars and planets to make claims of future events, the Mayans plotted their calendars with the objective of preparing for significant world events. However, the alignment in question is not exclusive to 2012 but takes place over a 36-year period, corresponding to the diameter of the Sun, with the most precise convergence having already occurred in 1998.
So what do we make of that? Does every claim for the significance of 2012 come as a kernel of truth, wrapped in a coating of hysterical hype? Let’s explore a little further.
Ah, Nostradamus. This much-quoted 16th century physician and prognosticator with his cryptic quatrains has been the most respected seer in history. A number of his quatrains are believed by scholars of prophecy to pertain to our time, and warn of dire events. It’s estimated that about 50% of his prophecies have come true. While this passes in some circles as a staggeringly huge number of hits, it’s worth keeping in mind that it’s an equal number of misses, too…and even the hits are open to interpretation. Never, anywhere, does he specifically mention the year 2012. In fact, he goes on to claim that his visions extend as far as the 38th century, so apparently humanity doesn’t meet its gory end any time soon after all. And with no concrete dates to point to, we are forced to wait and see – in retrospect – whether or not Nostradamus had any real insight into current events.
Surely there must be some biblical passages that dovetail with the Mayan prediction of the end of days. Fundamentalist Christians are loud in their warnings that the rapture is imminent and those who miss it are in for a crapload of trouble. But wait – many doomsday dates predicted by theologians have come and gone, leaving their followers wondering what “didn’t” hit them. And the bible itself assures us that nobody, not even Jesus or the angels, knows the exact date that anything is going to go down. That’s a secret God is keeping to himself, we’re told. Did He change His mind and decide to leak the info after all?
Well then, isn’t there a rogue star out there – Nibiru, or Planet X – that’s due to make a pole-reversing, 1,000-foot wave-creating flyby of the earth? Both sides of THAT argument lay their case in front of the public, and we are free to take an open-minded look at it. As for Nibiru, latest thinking on that subject – at least by astronomers, who are in some position to know – is that it doesn’t even exist, much less plan to drop by – or drop on us – in 2012. According to them, Nibiru=fake. End of story. As expected, detractors abound.
What about the aliens, the ones that seeded humanity and keep coming back to steal cow parts and human fetuses? Those who claim to be in contact with these extraterrestrials are supposedly being assured that they will finally make their landing on the White House lawn on December 21, 2012. Unfortunately, we’re forced to take the word of the contactees, with no way of verifying the information for ourselves. And why these contactees consider beings who behave the way these ETs apparently do as “space brothers” who should be welcomed with open arms is beyond me, but that’s a discussion for another article!
Finally, and most encouraging of all, is the idea that – far from disaster and ruin – the new age is going to bring enlightenment and a sorely-needed raising of the human consciousness to a higher and more spiritual level of existence. This will include everyone being able to engage in telepathy, levitation, and the ability to speak with the angels. Great as this sounds, again – best to examine whatever passes for evidence that this is what’s going to happen.
It seems to me that the information (or misinformation, as the case may be) that is making the rounds is being served up to the public as if it were a sort of stew…a particularly inedible one. You might love peanut butter, peach ice cream, asparagus, chocolate sauce, and liverwurst. But if you jam them all in a blender and try to swallow the result, how yummy would it be? Personally, I’d rather eat the contents of my cat’s litter box. While it might seem logical to take a lot of really good-sounding ideas, each worthy of consideration on their own, and simmer them all together in a single pot for a tasty combo of intellectual flavors, the recipe really doesn’t work. And that’s what’s happened with 2012. So many favorite non-secular ideologies, traditional (and poorly accepted) mythologies and mysteries, conspiracy theories, belief systems, fears, pseudo-scientific conclusions, and just plain wishful thinking, all being tossed into the 2012 crock-pot. The true importance of this date, assuming there is one, is in danger of being utterly lost in the stew. Every doomsday scenario ever concocted, brilliant or barmy, is being forcibly linked to this single date.
It’s weird, but it seems that every generation since the beginning of all those biblical begats has looked forward to the world ending during their own time. Apparently we all understand at a deep and depressing level just how far off course we’ve drifted, spiritually and emotionally. We are desperate for change, even if it means a gigantic dieback of humanity itself. And if there’s any truth to the theory that, by our concentrated thoughts and intentions, we create our own reality, then we have some reason to be frightened for this particular generation. There’s a traditional zen proverb that sums it up: That which you are looking for, is always looking for you. There’s an emergent awareness of this possibility that events can be influenced by a collective will. It’s a phenomenon known as “collective manifestation.” In brief, it suggests that the more people believe a thing, the more influence they will have – consciously or unconsciously – in bringing it about. If this is true, then we are on track for SOMETHING significant to happen in 2012, simply because we decided amongst ourselves that we really, really wanted it to.
So it behooves us to do two things: make very sure that the world we create is infinitely better than the one we’re discarding, and safety and emergency preparednessprepare ourselves as much as possible for whatever might actually happen. Better to build the shelter before the storm hits.
Posted in News And Society | 
Tags: Edgar Cayce, Precession Of The Equinoxes, Tinfoil Hat | 
No Comments »
Keep Austin Weird
Dane asked:
One cannot possibly spend time in Austin, Texas without hearing its motto repeated countless times: “Keep Austin Weird.” The phrase, which was coined by an Austin Community College librarian who uttered it while calling in to a radio show, spread like wildfire and was picked up and used by the Austin Independent Business Alliance as a means of encouraging the support of local businesses.
Like most catch phrases, “Keep Austin Weird” has a basis in reality. Austin is many things: political, vibrant, intelligent and fun, but it is also undeniably weird.
For example, where else in the world would you find a cross-dressing vagrant who wears high-heeled shoes and runs for mayor? Leslie Cochran, a man who has been dubbed “The Queen of Austin,” is one of its most beloved characters—so beloved, in fact, that local stores sell “Leslie’s What to Wear Refrigerator Magnets” that act as a magnetic version of a paper doll kit.
Leslie is not the only local attraction that keeps the city interesting. There is Hippie Hollow, the only “clothing-optional” beach in all of Texas, as well as the fact that Austin, in addition to being the state capital, is supposedly the Frisbee Golf capital as well. Also consider the Alamo Drafthouse, a series of movie houses-slash-restaurants-slash-performance theatres, which has an eclectic event calendar and funny promotions to keep patrons coming back for more. There are not many places where you can attend a showing of “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” that includes all the miniature burgers you can eat.
Down in South Austin, one can visit the infamous “Cathedral of Junk,” which was started in 1988 and is constructed of an array of throw-away items like bottles, bumpers and wheels (oh my!). Despite its appearance, the cathedral is structurally sound, passing inspection by the city each year. While in that part of town, there is also the Museum of Ephemerata, which has hosted such weird items as the last cigarette Marilyn Monroe ever smoked.
Each year, Austin plays host to biker rallies, burlesque shows, rodeos, political demonstrations, theatre events, street markets, live music performances and festivals, poetry readings and barbecues. There truly is never a dull moment.
And yet, perhaps it is simply the people of Austin who keep it weird. Austinites, both native and self-made, continually contribute to the city’s atmosphere, full of flair, fun and energy. It is they who buy from the funky shops, they who attend the crazy shows, and they who take pride in occupying such a unique place in the world
One cannot possibly spend time in Austin, Texas without hearing its motto repeated countless times: “Keep Austin Weird.” The phrase, which was coined by an Austin Community College librarian who uttered it while calling in to a radio show, spread like wildfire and was picked up and used by the Austin Independent Business Alliance as a means of encouraging the support of local businesses.
Like most catch phrases, “Keep Austin Weird” has a basis in reality. Austin is many things: political, vibrant, intelligent and fun, but it is also undeniably weird.
For example, where else in the world would you find a cross-dressing vagrant who wears high-heeled shoes and runs for mayor? Leslie Cochran, a man who has been dubbed “The Queen of Austin,” is one of its most beloved characters—so beloved, in fact, that local stores sell “Leslie’s What to Wear Refrigerator Magnets” that act as a magnetic version of a paper doll kit.
Leslie is not the only local attraction that keeps the city interesting. There is Hippie Hollow, the only “clothing-optional” beach in all of Texas, as well as the fact that Austin, in addition to being the state capital, is supposedly the Frisbee Golf capital as well. Also consider the Alamo Drafthouse, a series of movie houses-slash-restaurants-slash-performance theatres, which has an eclectic event calendar and funny promotions to keep patrons coming back for more. There are not many places where you can attend a showing of “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” that includes all the miniature burgers you can eat.
Down in South Austin, one can visit the infamous “Cathedral of Junk,” which was started in 1988 and is constructed of an array of throw-away items like bottles, bumpers and wheels (oh my!). Despite its appearance, the cathedral is structurally sound, passing inspection by the city each year. While in that part of town, there is also the Museum of Ephemerata, which has hosted such weird items as the last cigarette Marilyn Monroe ever smoked.
Each year, Austin plays host to biker rallies, burlesque shows, rodeos, political demonstrations, theatre events, street markets, live music performances and festivals, poetry readings and barbecues. There truly is never a dull moment.
And yet, perhaps it is simply the people of Austin who keep it weird. Austinites, both native and self-made, continually contribute to the city’s atmosphere, full of flair, fun and energy. It is they who buy from the funky shops, they who attend the crazy shows, and they who take pride in occupying such a unique place in the world
Top Weird News of 2008
Jeff asked:
The Stock Market went bankrupt, Democrats and Republicans were nipping at each other like vicious enemies, and this was the situation of the whole world. All the companies were merely surviving and hoping that they could see the next year. As for America situations were turning out to be quite a lot suspicious as the elections for the President of the United States took place and Obama came up with the majority of people on his side.
Now we look at some of the weirdest news of this year.
President Bush went to Iraq for some meeting with the Iraqi President, where he was facing a press conference. Now when President Bush was giving away the answers, one of the Iraqi reporter stood up, took one of his shoes and threw it towards Bush. Bush was too athletic to get away from it. But that man fired another shoe which was only some inches away. Now everyone was shocked and was apologizing with Bush.
Nobody needed to see Verne “Mini-Me” Troyer’s *** tape! But it was hardly as the guy charged with having *** with his picnic table, the woman who sold videos of herself having *** with her stupid enough dog, the guy who cooked his girlfriend for dinner or the Danish students who killed a cat (of real) and ate it on Face book.
In August, when Mrs. McKinney of California stood before cameras to unveil the cloned pups of her deceased pit-bull, Booger (for which she paid a handsome amount of $30,000+), knew she was different than what expected.
A few days later, British tabloids recognized her as Joyce McKinney, a woman charged in 1977 with kidnapping some Mormon missionary and getting out on bail. McKinney was charged of chloroforming the man on the steps of a church, took him off to a remote villa, shackled him in mink handcuffs, and forced him to have *** with her! Damn where in the hell was I.
Before the trial, McKinney ran off to the United States and had been living in relative obscurity. Once discovered, she faced the media, telling the Associated Press, “My mother said, ‘Say something good or say nothing at all’.”
Two other highlights in laughable litigiousness: a California woman sued Victoria’s Secret after injuring her eye while trying on a thong. A New York businessman also sued over an eye injury. His came after a stripper accidentally smacked him in the face while taking her clothes off.
When a company launch a line of bikinis, for girls as young as two months old, the outcry from child advocates and feminists was as predictable as it was justifiable. What are they up to? The same could be said for GPS Lingerie– underwear that lets a woman’s boyfriend know where she is all the time. This great invention will hopefully go far.
In other religious news, the Virgin Mary appeared on an MRI and the face of Jesus turned up on an electric guitar (both listed on eBay for sale)
The Stock Market went bankrupt, Democrats and Republicans were nipping at each other like vicious enemies, and this was the situation of the whole world. All the companies were merely surviving and hoping that they could see the next year. As for America situations were turning out to be quite a lot suspicious as the elections for the President of the United States took place and Obama came up with the majority of people on his side.
Now we look at some of the weirdest news of this year.
President Bush went to Iraq for some meeting with the Iraqi President, where he was facing a press conference. Now when President Bush was giving away the answers, one of the Iraqi reporter stood up, took one of his shoes and threw it towards Bush. Bush was too athletic to get away from it. But that man fired another shoe which was only some inches away. Now everyone was shocked and was apologizing with Bush.
Nobody needed to see Verne “Mini-Me” Troyer’s *** tape! But it was hardly as the guy charged with having *** with his picnic table, the woman who sold videos of herself having *** with her stupid enough dog, the guy who cooked his girlfriend for dinner or the Danish students who killed a cat (of real) and ate it on Face book.
In August, when Mrs. McKinney of California stood before cameras to unveil the cloned pups of her deceased pit-bull, Booger (for which she paid a handsome amount of $30,000+), knew she was different than what expected.
A few days later, British tabloids recognized her as Joyce McKinney, a woman charged in 1977 with kidnapping some Mormon missionary and getting out on bail. McKinney was charged of chloroforming the man on the steps of a church, took him off to a remote villa, shackled him in mink handcuffs, and forced him to have *** with her! Damn where in the hell was I.
Before the trial, McKinney ran off to the United States and had been living in relative obscurity. Once discovered, she faced the media, telling the Associated Press, “My mother said, ‘Say something good or say nothing at all’.”
Two other highlights in laughable litigiousness: a California woman sued Victoria’s Secret after injuring her eye while trying on a thong. A New York businessman also sued over an eye injury. His came after a stripper accidentally smacked him in the face while taking her clothes off.
When a company launch a line of bikinis, for girls as young as two months old, the outcry from child advocates and feminists was as predictable as it was justifiable. What are they up to? The same could be said for GPS Lingerie– underwear that lets a woman’s boyfriend know where she is all the time. This great invention will hopefully go far.
In other religious news, the Virgin Mary appeared on an MRI and the face of Jesus turned up on an electric guitar (both listed on eBay for sale)