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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

This is a list of 10 negative personal fitness trainer cliches. Hopefully you aren’t on this list, because if you are, then you’ve got some major work to do.

Fitness trainers are lucky because we don’t have to spend day after day cramped in a tiny cubicle or inhaling fumes in a factory. We are out there in the trenches making people look their best, helping them to lead happier lives, feel more energetic, and hold their head high with confidence. Heck, we even make sure they have more (and better!) sex. As a trainer, you are touching every aspect of your client’s lives and making it one helluva lot better for them.

In the same spirit, I want to talk about some weird things that go on WITHIN the fitness industry, since these things often give us all a… well, a WEIRD reputation. The following trainer personalities and situations can serve as humorous fitness marketing tips that we can all learn from in a backward kinda way.

1. The trainer who’s doing more than just training his married female clients. Anyone who has worked in a gym knows whom I’m talking about!

2. The trainer who uses each workouts session as a lesson in hearing himself talk…about himself! This guy is in need of these fitness marketing tips: shut up about yourself and your clients will like you more…and, get to know your clients half as well as you obviously want them to know you, and you would have triple the workload!

3. The Know It All Trainer. This guy already knows everything there is to know about the fitness industry, so don’t try telling him ANYTHING!

4. The flabby, couch-bound, pizza and beer gut trainer. This guy was in shape when he started, but now he’s been training for so long that he thinks he can get away with eating junk food and watching other people work out all day long. Shameful, I say!

5. Large corporate gyms – can just anyone walk in off the street and get hired these days? Have you seen some of the newly hired at some of these places? They couldn’t tell a bicep from a toenail or a protein from a carb. Do they just hang their ‘now hiring’ signs and hope someone, anyone will respond?

6. The trainer who charges so low a homeless man could afford ten sessions a week. Ten bucks for a workout? Unreal! This dude devalues the hell out everything this industry stands for and would be better suited to the McDonalds drive-thru.

7. The training shark. You have to watch out for this bastard as his goal is to steal as many clients from you as possible. I’ve seen quite a few of them… and figured out that most of them never get ahead!

8. Johnny “Walk-it-Off.” So the client just blew a hernia? Tell him to walk it off. Dislocated his shoulder? Walk it off. Having a heart attack? You get the point…

9. Miss Forehead Wiper spends all her time searching out towels, two pound dumbbells, and water bottles. She’s the one wiping the sweat off her client’s foreheads… much like a sad puppy who follows you around.

10. The Perv. This is the guy every woman has to watch out for. Since he’s banned from being within 500 yards of any schoolyard and forever ruined his career as a teacher, he is now a personal fitness trainer. He’s the one who creeps out all the women in the gym by staring them up and down.

Well, there ya have it… hopefully you didn’t find yourself anywhere on that list, but I’m sure you had a laugh at a few of your colleagues. My fitness marketing tip is to not be on this list!

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